A series of unfortunate events (starting with us putting Gav on editing duties for New Year’s Day) has resulted in us losing this week’s episode to some gremlins.So this week, Gav’s whacked together some of our favourite bits from the last year into one file for you. Normal podcasting services will resume next week.
Why yes that IS the best title we’ve had in ages. In this episode of the podcast, Log asks: “are you napping too much?”, Matt wonders: “have I triggered all of my sleeper agents of 2014?”, while Steve queries: “what happens at the tops of stairs in Coronation Street?” All of those questions are answered ... Read more
Matt thinks he’s special because a sex worker likes him, Gav’s a dick to a stranger (for a change) and Steve writes some better Black Mirror plots than the people who are paid to do it. It’s 2021 when I edited this, and just changed “prostitute” to “sex worker” in the above paragraph. Unfortunately it’s ... Read more
Gav wants to date a hipster and Steve’s gone Corrie mad. This one’s for you, Deirdre. We used Patreon money in this episode – and because we’re ethical and transparent, like, um, Casper the Friendly Mattress, we wrote about it here.
Matt solves Log’s catering problems, and Log populates every Patron’s sexual kiss fantasia
Don’t stop til you get enough, sang Michael Jackson. Enough is enough, sang Barbra Streisand. The world is not enough, sang Shirley Manson out of the band Garbage. Enough is as good as a feast, is a thing your mum might say. Un oeuf is French for “a egg”. The point I’m trying to make ... Read more
After one failed feature, Steve talks about a traumatic injury to his gigantic eyeballs. Gav recalls a traumatic injury to a social situation, caused by his own behaviour, and Joe Skrebels causes traumatic injuries to Regular Features, by showing us all up for the low-effort amateurs we are. BONUS FUN!!! Can you spot Log’s hidden ... Read more
Matt fills up the entire bloody podcast with a hunk of Sonic the Hedgehog filth. We’re entirely sorry and completely understand if you want your money back. You can’t have your money back, of course, but we can understand why that’s a thing you might want.
With Log and Steve left to their own devices, what will happen in this – the first 100% gay episode of Regular Features? Will there be gay goings on? Will gay things occur? Will a gay bird fly into the room and make gay cawing sounds on the radiator? ANYTHING GAY COULD HAPPEN AND YOU ... Read more
Gav’s got the cure for arachnophobia, Log finds a sitcom he wrote when he was 16 and Steve brings in another guest who manages to outshine us all.
It’s been a bad day, please don’t take a picture. Please, it’s my last picture. It’s the only remaining picture I have of my dead wife. Please, man who is repossessing my home because I am depressed and out of work, do not take this picture of my dead wife. It is worth nothing to ... Read more
In this episode of Regular Features, Log reacts professionally to a bad review of his pub on TripAdvisor by reading the review out in a silly voice, Steve has some good ideas for new science fiction drama television show, and Matt has a go at being Gav by abusing a stranger over text message. Sorry ... Read more
Matt has problems with his bladder, Steve invited the team to embrace his eggs with both hands, and Log gets everyone up to speed on everything that happened in the 1970s.
Another live show! If you missed it in person, or simply want to remind yourself of what an INCREDIBLE NIGHT you had, you can watch the whole thing in video form too: http://ift.tt/1y3rCZv (theme song music by Kevin MacLeod of Incomputech.
Enjoy some post-live-show funk as Gav tries to work out if Matt & Steve are a bunch of replicunts.
Come with me and you’ll be in a word of Roger Helmer newsletters! That sort of fits with that song, doesn’t it?
Matt’s been on holiday like a big lar-dee-dar, Steve is adamant that he isn’t there, Gavin seems keen to offend everyone, and Log is talking about his bumhole again. Congratulations, you are listening to Regular Features.
We did poems because we can do anything if we just put our minds to it.
Gav finds some tips on being awesome from Richard Burton and Log does about 3 features. Steve’s throat is sore so send him your get well wishes by doing a kiss into the air and blowing it out a window or something.
There’s a bit in this episode where we fold ourselves through a couple of the higher dimensions of irony, sarcasm and self-awareness to form an obscene podcast tesseract in which it could be mistakenly conceived that we are being hugely offensive for no reason. I believe, however, that we’re attempting to make a larger point ... Read more
Another new way to innovate, you say? Yes, OK! This episode was made without any of us talking to each other at ALL. Like we HATE each other now. That’s our new thing. That Steve, eh. What a prize pillock! ANyway: Gav does OK Cupid, Matt tries to get us all together again, and Log ... Read more
The Regular Features team are getting ready to go on holiday this week! Except for Log, who’s writing this description now, knowing that his friends are going to live on a fucking yacht for a few days, while he sits in his own pub, a prisoner of all the booze he’s chosen to surround himself ... Read more
We were all on holiday this week so we’ve picked our favourite live features to remind you how great we are not just behind closed doors but also sometimes above pubs.
In this new episode of the podcast that is the podcast what is called Regular Features, Steve’s got sex tips, Matt’s got buffet bothers and Log’s singing a song about somebody who was in love and then dies and it’s sad. Those are the things we did. Now I simply must go. I can’t just ... Read more
Matt gives us unfettered rummaging access to the nooks and pant-crannies of his squalid office cave, Steve gives us a full-fat grilling on subjects of his choosing, and Log celebrates fatty-bum-bum day because it’s nice to be alive. Contains dadbods
How many emotions can you name? 3?! Well, they’re all in this episode. Every single one of them. There’s laughter, sadness and…what’s the other one? Purple? That’s one isn’t it? Fuck off, yes it is.
Matt takes us on a big wet adventure, Gav finds a woman who hasn’t seen The Ring, and Steve appears to be melting from the heat but don’t worry he’ll probably somehow survive.
Matt is worried he’s being followed by the KGB, Steve hasn’t seen the latest Terminator film, and Log faces real-life tragedy head-on, pushing his nose right up against it so that it looks a bit like a smushed up tomato. But a very sad tomato, because tragedy has occured.
Coming to you live from the bottom of a bucket, it’s the Regular Features team. Regular Features roll call go! Hey I’m Matt I’m the joker of the crew. Pom pom pom. And I’m Steve, the handsome one. Doop dee doop da doo. Now it’s time for me, Gav, the cheeky chappy. High kick high ... Read more
Come one, come all and listen to us casually gobbing off as if our words deserve to be heard!
Episode 150?! Wow. Has anyone ever done this many podcasts? Probably not.
It’s the latest episode of your favourite video games podcast all about video games!
The person writing this description was too pissed to remember it being recorded but I bet it’s really good.
Have you ever been to space? Don’t lie, cause I’ll know.Yeah, I didn’t think so. Listening to this will be the closest you’ll every come I reckon.
Log and Steve go to a pub and have a lot to drink. Then they go to Peterborough Beer Festival, where they have more drinks and go on a ride. Then they go on a train, drinks in hand, and meet Matt, who is stone cold sober. The fun imbalance is palpable
New jobs, new jingles, new-tribullet. What more could you ask for from a podcast? Nothing, that’s what.
We get some reader interaction from a familiar voice and Matt is afraid of a new, annoying London trend.
You can also watch a video of this if you want to see us creaming all over each other’s hot bodies. Except for Matt, who merely enjoys the spectacle and takes meticulous notes for his written-word wank-bank
Even though our work is whimsical, we have a very serious job. We cry more than we laugh.
This week Sean Bell comes back like a bad ghost to tell stories about when Matt Lees was almost a child. The RF Team put these stories under heavy scrutiny, and take all accusations deeply seriously. We apologise for any harm caused, and will look into the matter further.Follow Sean on Twitter: https://twitter.com/CaptainTossCheck out his ... Read more
Steve becomes the Rototwat’s latest victim, Matt’s been on the Daily Mail site and Gav brings up the past.
Honking Mary, it’s another episode of the Regular Features podcast. Marvel at Matt, slide into a Steve-scented stupor, lose yourself in Log. It’s features features features baby, and what we’ve got you gotta get and put it in you. This episode finally reveals what Regular Features stands for, what would happen if Cilla Black orchestrated ... Read more
We’re LIVE from upstairs in Log’s pub – and boy oh boy is it raucous! No honestly, the main recording failed so we had to salvage this from the camera backup. It’s a bit noisy, and probably more enjoyable/coherent in VIDEO FORM like this
Matt has written a text adventure based on the life of George Osborne, Gav is apparently trying to be nice, Log is imagining what it might be like to be Gav for a day, and Steve has brought loads of fun expensive shit from work. Watch the video version here, in this iframe!
Quiche, get it? Just like that saying “life’s a bitch!” but with quiche. What do you mean that doesn’t work? I saw a towel that said “life’s a beach!” once so if they can do that, we’re sure as shit doing this.
If you like Steve, you’re going to LOVE this week’s episode. If you don’t like Steve, sod off
When does a feature become a feature?! We’re not telling you just in case you run off and start your own podcast with your smelly cousins. Madness.
Well, well, well….look who came craaaaaawling back.You’ve got some nerve, missy.
All four of the boys arrange themselves on stage for a festive show of truly normal proportions!
Let’s make this the number one Google result for anyone searching for Christopher Bratt. Regular Features is your number one point of contact for all matters pertaining to Christopher, or Chris, Bratt, aka “Bratterz”. Also, Nazis and bum-eggs
It’s important not to confuse Krampus with Kranglemas, as we have here. Why is it important? You will find out when the shapes coalesce in your vision to a compass point that you feel compelled to follow. You will embark on an odyssey that will lead your friends to desert you, and comfort to become ... Read more