2018 WAS THE YEAR THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN

Dec 27

Hello girls, it’s us, the Regular Features people, and we’ve got another episode of the podcast what we done for you out of our mouth holes. Log has got a series of reasons why he’s not done a feature, Matt finally snaps and goes mad racist, and Steve channels the ghost of crambles past. Happy ... Read more

Dec 20

Log found a Christmas script in his pub and wouldn’t you know it we decided to perform the whole thing. It’s insane that we’re not making this up. Music used: “A Christmas Tale” by Lena Orsa freesound.org/people/lena_orsa/sounds/414673/“Creepy Lullaby, A” by InspectorJ freesound.org/people/InspectorJ/sounds/412224/

Dec 13

This week’s podcast may or not be getting beamed into your drug addled brain from the future. It features Steve, Matt and Joe. What more do you want? Blood? Because we’ve got loads of that, clamp your jaws around us and grab yerself a pint. Nice, huh? Slug it back with a pint of brine. ... Read more

Dec 06

This week Steve is off to Grenada and shares some hopes and dreams for his trip. Joe has just come back from Japan and apparently it’s still mad over there.¬†And Gav thinks he’s seen his dead Grandmother’s face on a games journalist. Sounds good? You get your big arse it is!

Nov 29

In this week’s podcast, Matt and Steve take you on a journey to space and back to Italy. How can just two men seamlessly transition from one to the other? Well, you’ll just have to listen to this mother, won’t you?

Nov 22

WHOA THERE GIRLY GIRL, where do you think you’re going dressed like that? To the 19th Century salon to listen to discourse from the most active minds of our time? Well yes, I did forget that this podcast description is a period piece. Anyway, who will be in attendance, and what will the be discussing? ... Read more

Nov 15

We’ve got a bit of a Frankenstein podcast this week as Joe n Gav send in bits of a podcast to add on to Steve and Log lovely chat. LEGAL NECESSITY: Joe’s songs were constructed from the beautiful bones of “Reunited” and “Nowhere Land” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Nov 08

On this week’s podcast, Steve & Gav go to TWO different video games studios (not in the same night, we’re not CRAZEEEEE) and Log is here to predict the outcome of the mid-term elections which have already happened.

Nov 01

All hallows we’en may have already passed, but that means it’s technically behind us now, which is the spookiest place something can be. So permit us one last spooky feature, performed by Steve, and one last spooky error, performed by Matt when he deleted half the episode. Sorry about that. It’s Regular Features baby. Got ... Read more

Oct 25

*CLANK CLANK CLANK* That’s the sound of the ol’ Feature machine cranking into life. *GONK GONK GONK* Look! It’s producing features at a rate of knots! *FART* It’s Steve’s food riddles! *FART* Log’s gone deaf and thinks he’s a superboy! *FART* Joe feels sorry for a chef! *FRRRRRRK* Oh Christ, another zero-hour contractor fell in ... Read more

Oct 18

In this prematurely spooktastic episode of the Regular Features podcast, Steve does a double haunting ghostwise, and Joe and Gav realise they have finally made it… *record scratch*… in HUNGARY?

Oct 11

Look, we’re just going to cop to it. We can’t control Matt, but we also won’t pretend that we haven’t enabled him in the past. We’re sorry for what happened. Just know that you’re safe now, because he’s behind strong Canadian bars. Anyway, now that’s out of the way, Joe’s got some YouTube comments he ... Read more

Oct 04

On this week’s podcast, Steve brings us a a report from the frontline of a Barry Manilow gig and we’re happy to tell you that the ol’ Mandy lover’s still got it. We’ve also got Log smuggling in a bit of advertorial as a feature like two Muppets running into a XXX movie. Gav is ... Read more

Sep 27

In THIS one… Matt probes his way around the galaxy. Log shares his tips on how to utterly thrill a baby. And Steve draws back the curtain on the secret life of the Supervet. It’s an episode Regular Features, your honour, and our legal counsel has advised us to say no more on the matter.

Sep 20

Wrap your earholes around this one, if you like. If you don’t, just leave it on the table and I’m sure somebody else will want it. In this episode Joe lets you live out the squash career you never had. Steve reviews a restaurant that never was. And Log offers you the love you never ... Read more

Sep 13

In a podcast first, Steve’s got a Spider-Man feature, and Log’s got a Spider-Man feature, but thank Matt for his insulating layer of non-Spider-Man related whimsy about the videogames industry’s darkest secrets to prevent a Regular Features implosion.

Sep 06

It can only be episode 309 of Regular Features, and you know what that means: more tip-top audio content from the boys what love ya. Joe has been properly researching how to show someone a good time without spending any money, except on spaghetti and string. Steve had a argument with a lady so fierce ... Read more

Aug 30

Daddy needs new shoes and the only way he’s going to get them is if you listen to this lil podcast o’ mine. Gav tried to trick people with meat? Whoa! Steve tells a sexy little story about Spider-man’s nighttime num-nums? Hachi-machi! Joe leaves the room to welcome in a very special, very stinky guest? ... Read more

Aug 23

Log tries to take the pressure off of Madonna for her Aretha tribute, by doing one even less appropriate. Matt fuses spookies and politics to erotic effect, and Steve tells a story about a bird.

Aug 16

Joe and Gav dig through old documentation, Steve gets blind drunk and goes to watch a musical, and Log brings the ship into port with journalists on the hunt for tea.

Aug 09

HENCHMAN 1: It is boring here guarding the Bad Base. HENCHMAN 2: I listen to podcasts to pass the time. HENCHMAN 1: Oh, like what? HENCHMAN 2: Like Regular Features of course! It is the podcast of choice for the discerning goon. HENCHMAN 1: Wow, what’s on it this week? HENCHMAN 2: Well, Steve went ... Read more

Aug 02

This week Log & Joe blow Gav’s mind with a revelation about pedestrian crossings. I know that sounds shit but it genuinely isn’t.

Jul 26

This week’s podcast hears Log, Gav, and Matt slowly melt into the carpet in an especially nostalgia-ridden ramble of an episode. Gavin has a bicycle dilemma, Matt has been Journalism’d, and Log channels the powers of another podcast to hurl shit at three men who royally deserve it. Have a GOOD WEEK

Jul 19

In a coincidence we are describing as “nice”, this show’s full of ghosts, psychics and troublingly sexy robots. Oh boy, Gav, Log and Steve have got spookies coming out of their collective arses and they’re going to pour them down your ears once you click play. SPONSORSHIP FOR THIS EPISODE KINDLY PROVIDED BY HERBIS JON-BRANTHAM.

Jul 12

Hoik up your mother’s britches and sidle on up to the latest episode of the good old audio business we call the Regular Features podcast, in which the following things occurred. Steve imagines what the film Skyscraper starring Johnson Rock might be like. Joe becomes infatuated mind-wise with a Plane Bae. And Log prepares for ... Read more

Jul 05

This is the last ever episode of Regular Features*. Steve and Joe go to town in a soundproof booth, while Log is stuck in Nottingham, a prisoner of football and his awful pub. Will they stitch together an episode? I certainly hope so, otherwise I have NO idea what I just uploaded. *That you will ... Read more

Jun 28

Normally, we’d use this description to call you all a bunch of shites or something, but Gav met a man called Robin who’s put us all on best behaviour. Love you Robin sorry Robin

Jun 21

Who wears jort jorts? We wear jort jorts, though our jort jorts have almost no bearing at all on the content of this episode of Regular Features, in which Log introduces the Toon Blast community to the squirtin’ philosophy, and Matt takes us all on a whistlestop tour of Amsterdahamsterdams. As always, we love you, ... Read more

Jun 14

Welcome to the live show sandwich. The bread is audience applause, the ham is Joe talking about a man he met in a hut, the cheese is Gav making miners angry, the lettuce is Log doing a sexy summer panto, and Steve’s dirty Westworld parody is that little stick with an olive. EAT IT, YOU ... Read more

Jun 07

Have you seen the original Blade Runner? No? Oh, you’re scuttered, pal, sorry.

May 31

Come for the great features, stay for the top ladbants between Gav, Log and Steve. Then leave just before it gets a bit awkward right at the end. We won’t say exactly when – just trust your sphincter’s instincts and rip your headphones off when it starts to pucker.

May 24

Whomp? There it is. You did say you’d lost a Whomp, didn’t you? Yeah, someone handed it in. Anyway if you want to know what’s in this week’s episode, Steve brings a skin complaint, and Log tries to get you off. Off to sleep, that is! Nothing sexy please, this is a polite podcast

May 17

It’s the bank holiday and Matt, Joe n Gav are three chilled out boys with something (features) on their mind.

May 10

Hang your chads down your dads if it ain’t another episode of Regular Features!!

May 03

Steve, Matt and Log talk the Journalism Horse, Amelie’s Fish-Babe, and much more besides. Mostly the latter.

Apr 26

On this week’s show, can YOU tell the difference between Neil Morrissey and just plain old dickhead Morrissey? What kind of God of War are YOU? And do YOU want to hear all about Steve’s summer outfit? We sure hope so…

Apr 19

This week’s show was recorded LIVE at the Canal Cafe Theatre.Every month we get drunk and do some nonsense on stage and then meet up with YOU lovely people afterwards. It’s a fun time.

Apr 12

Matt reads from The Bible, Steve takes us to the land of Peaky Blinders, Joe recalls a famous noughties song, all while Log oversees from SPACE.

Apr 05

Mar 29

Hey babe. It’s us. The podcast. In this episode, Steve questions whether the Queer Eye Fab 5 will ever escape their purgatory hellscape, Joe peruses a jaggedy raggedy jazz mag, and Log gets down to pranktown… old-school style. Love you!

Mar 22

Hello, I am Kevin McCallister from the movie Home Alone. I grew up and am currently an unemployed surveyor. In my spare time I like to listen to podcasts about rats, Oakie Doke, the Tomb Raider’s Monzo card and why Gav is a burglar in waiting. That is why I endorse Regular Features.

Mar 15

Matt describes a whole day without water, Joe takes us STRAIGHT to the heart of Hellywood, Log reminds us that Roseanne exists. Nobody dies.

Mar 08

The boys are trapped! The snow has absolutely done them in but we’ve got emergency tape broadcasts from all of them(except Joe, who is dead)

Mar 01

In this episode of the Regular Features podcast, Steve scoots. Joe roots (for ferns). And Matt kazoots. You gotta love ’em, huh?

Feb 22

Maaaaaan, we have some heartbroken readers. Here’s a collection of some of the saddest real-life love stories you guys sent us this week. We hope you are OK because we think you’re lovely.

Feb 15

Live at the Canal Cafe Theatre, Log is a whale scientist, Steve is spooking you into terrible trouble, Joe is ALSO spooking you but in a different way and honestly I like it, and Matt is losing the plot at an alarming pace. IN PANGAEA.

Feb 08

Gav mocks funeral hashtags! Steve makes us all little! Joe busts the truth wide open! Matt replied to all of these ideas with courtesy and humour! GET IT IN YA

Feb 01

Welcome to the podcast that has the same description text every week! This time, Matt gives everyone the chance to be UKIP leader, Log The Incredible Porn Star asks you to name the celebrities he’s serviced, and Steve has been dealing with an unusual cocktail of shit and acid.

Jan 25

Hey now, what’s that sound – everybody look what’s going down… It’s this episode of Regular Features, “down”-loading onto your favourite devices! While Regular Features is an audio file, the downloading process shouldn’t be audible. If you can hear this episode downloading, your wi-fi might be in pain. Please check to see if you are ... Read more

Jan 18

Joe’s off to meet some beasts, Gav’s had his boxers robbed and Steve’s on a sweet little pub quiz vibe. Waheeeey.

Jan 04

Oh look at that pie on the windowsill! Why not take a bite? Mother will never know. Surprise, baby, you just ate FEATURES. Now you’ve got an acute case of the GIGGLES, idiot.