2021: THE YEAR THAT THIS IS

Jan 07

Strap in readers, as we carousel into the new year with a mildly irresponsible and Disaronno-fuelled special episode of Regular Features. Can we perform our features before Old Lazy Booze kisses us goodnight? Let’s find out. FEATURES: Steve is interrupted by a very fussy guest. Gav tries to pawn a dirty goblin’s ring. And Log ... Read more

Jan 14

Hey now, what’s that sound, everybody look, it’s a new episode of the podcast. What happens in this one? I’m so glad you asked. Steve composes his very own Cyberpunk 2077 mission. Joe escapes into the fantastic world of the Lemon Pibwobs. And Log hires a mediator to address recent bullying concerns on the podcast. ... Read more

Jan 21

Elegance. Charm. Big moustache. Poise. Intellect. Their very own pizza oven. Grace. Wit. These are the qualities we look for in an Italian chef, and we will settle for nothing less. What? Oh, we also did a podcast. Mamma mia. Steve delivers what he promises to be his very last feature about teeth. Log codes ... Read more

Jan 29

Rare meat raves. Pick and mix mince raffles. Room temperature offal sermons. Pig gristle quinceaƱeras. They all have one thing in common: they are ground zero for the aching bone rot known only as gout. Log’s got it, and he’s here to send us on a special quest to track down and gargle his favourite ... Read more

Feb 07

Tuck in your elbows, lock eyes with the person you love the most, and then hurl yourself out of the nearest window, because it’s time for another episode of the Regular Features podcast. In this one. Log gets a visit from his good friend Eartha Kitt. Steve takes you on a saucy Loyd Grossman adventure. ... Read more

Feb 12

A rolling stone gathers no moss, but you know what it does gather? A lot of freaking attention that’s what. And the last thing we want is the police snooping around here. In this episode, Log focuses his powerful forgiveness beams onto the back of your hand until you yelp in pain. Steve uncovers the ... Read more

Feb 21

I’m writing this in the bath, so I’ll be brief. In this episode, Steve reports on how the newest Martian rover narrowly avoided wasp-induced catastrophe. Joe reveals he is Sia’s honest-to-goodness cousin and demands access to his rightful family fortune. And Log has gone koo-koo bananas for the latest Yakuza game for the games computer. ... Read more

Feb 28

What is the Gorbo Vibe? If you have to ask, it’s not for you. And if you don’t have to ask, well you come across as aloof and so it’s also not for you, sorry. I don’t make the rules. In this ep (short for episode), Gavin starts running but runs straight into a problem ... Read more

Mar 07

Look, it’s late on a Sunday so let’s cut to the chase. In this one, Joe tells a blood-curdling foot story to curry favour with the producers of any horror podcast who’ll have him. Log discovers a gassy missus in the filthy missives of James Joyce, who is also his dad now by the way. ... Read more

Mar 16

I once said boo to a goose and it laid an egg, and inside the egg was a piece of paper, and on the paper there was a joke. “Q: What do you get if you cross a camel with a goose? A: Goose bumps.” Naturally I was furious for having had my time wasted ... Read more

Mar 23

ello, it’s me, the podcast, with another episode of myself. In this one, Steve gets rich off of blockchain dunks. Joe embarks on a lucrative Tik Tok career. And Log eats so many oak-temperature conkers that he gets a thank you letter from the Queen. Album art

Mar 29

Sure, you’ve all heard about how that big boat got wedged. Yawn! But have you also heard that Gav was mildly traumatised by an intractable camera man? No, because the “news” don’t want you to know about it. In this week’s tell all episode, Gav reveals how an impudent videographer shook him to his core, ... Read more

Apr 01

In this very special episode of Regular Features, we tackle the real issues facing our societies todays, what are named of: kayak mishaps, duck tits, Channel 4 anchors, a jungle disease (red flower), some guys who live in a bed even way after they’re dead, and what to do about a Tim Allen. Excuse me, ... Read more

Apr 10

We interrupt your regularly scheduled features to bring you this very special report about a prince. The music “Raving Energy” which appears in the nightclub scene where we’re all dancing and having fun when we find out Prince Philip is dead is by artist Kevin MacLeod. Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/5029-raving-energy License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Album art

Apr 23

https://soundcloud.com/regularfeatures/442-privacy-breach-in-the-space-league Houston, we have a problem. The problem is that three guys came in and made some yuk-yuks in mission control and now we got a whole ‘sploded Cape Canaveral. What were the yuk-yuks? Well, a guy called Gav told us about how a popular podcasting service stole his data and tried to make a ... Read more

May 03

https://soundcloud.com/regularfeatures/443-ellen-dehjennereh We’ve been sitting on the fence way too long. It’s about time we took Ellen Degeneres down a peg or five. And as a feature appetiser: Steve got Mrs Doubtfired by an orthodonist. Joe is here too, to keep everyone in line. Album art

May 07

https://soundcloud.com/regularfeatures/444-top-10-dental-medicine Hello and welcome to the description of the podcast. If you’ll take a look to your left, you’ll see that Log’s erected a top 10 of people in his pub – he says it’s not a feature but it’s got a backing track and everything. To your right, you’ll notice that Joe has sold ... Read more

May 16

https://soundcloud.com/regularfeatures/445-we-dont-know-who-needs-to-hear-this Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Now imagine it’s a speedboat, and you’ve broken every maritime law there is, and you’re on the run from the boat police. Now stop, calm down. None of this is happening, and you’re listening to Regular Features actually. Log has ... Read more

May 29

https://soundcloud.com/regularfeatures/446-wretched-skrebel-fragrance Pfft, schedules are for idiots. We’ve switched to releasing new episodes at random intervals, so you never know when you’re gonna get slapped around the ears with our demanding, wet voices. (Sorry, things have been especially intense these past two weeks, please bear with us while we arrange our disorderly ducks). In this one, ... Read more

Jun 07

https://soundcloud.com/regularfeatures/447-secret-pirate-island I’m on a secret pirate island now, sorry!! Sorry everyone. In this one, Steve gets his coronavirus vaccination. Joe, desperate to keep up with Steve’s trailblazing lifestyle, gets HIS vaccination too. Then Log launches a Regular Features podcast network, just to keep you on your toes. Album art

Jun 11

https://soundcloud.com/regularfeatures/448-castaway-spider-tofu Want to feel old? Put your dad’s big shoes on and walk around the house saying “where did I put my mortgage in this, the year 1978”. Then listen to Gav discuss the finer points of classic survival-comedy Castaway, which was released in 2000 and challenged a pre-9/11 America to wonder what it would ... Read more