Aug 15
1: The Inauguration
You know how cute it was when Bambi learned how to walk? And she, or he, or whatever the fuck Bambi was, just kept falling over? Take it from us: it was adorable. Now, imagine how charming that scene would be as an audio download. Just listening to the sound of a panicked deer slumping ... Read more
Aug 30
2: Welsh Gay Trouser Ghosts
The first time is always really awkward. Sometimes you don’t know where to put your hands, or whether or not you’re making too much eye contact. We’re never sure what you’re supposed to say afterwards – especially when there’s three people involved. The second time is usually much better though, so just lie down and ... Read more
Sep 13
3: Quiet Old Doctor Jobs
This one’s been “in the bag” for a while. This is all part of the professional podcasting process. When you’ve finished recording a podcast you slip it into a big bag, where people can’t hear it, for a couple of weeks. This allows the content to breathe, and creates the exciting impression that you’ve sacked ... Read more
Sep 19
4: Catchphrase Chat-up Coffee
Sometimes when a man and a woman love each other very much, the man has to buy her a drink so she’ll go to bed with him. You can learn about how this all works exactly in this week’s episode, which may also contain trace elements of racism, violence, and gin. Gav’s not here though, ... Read more
Oct 06
5: Apes Invent Ego
eing five years old is great – you usually get a BMX for your birthday, and maybe even a cake that looks like Spider-Man. This week’s episode of Regular Features isn’t as exciting as that. Steve gets confused about films, Gavin chats a load of shit about Star Wars and actresses and inventions or something, ... Read more
Oct 20
6: We’re Sorry Your Postcard Was Stolen
Gavin explains why Episode 5 took so long to update, Matt recounts his adventures in Portugal, whilst Log starts hurling accusations around. Oh, and if you’re a lady who won’t accept crisps – Steve probably hates you. Please note that this week’s episode contains trace amounts of criminal behaviour – if you’re easily offended by ... Read more
Oct 29
7: The Best At Bouncy Castles
This week’s episode started in a cave, because there was something wrong with the recording setup. After we’d deleted all the fucked-up bits and got things rolling though, things REALLY started to hit fever pitch. Steve starts droning on about potato-based products and Log shames the team with his trampoline skills. Somehow making the time ... Read more
Nov 05
8: Rules of the Gym, Law of the Playground
This week’s episode sees Steve laying down the law when it comes to Matt’s behaviour in the gym changing rooms, whilst Log quite reasonably takes the time to pimp his brilliant Law of the Playground project. Did we just do it again, there? I think we might have done. Steve fails to understand the rules ... Read more
Nov 12
9: The Magic Of Heterosexual Jim
This week’s episode is the first one that doesn’t contain any quantity of Steve. Matt reads out some of the letters he wrote to Jimmy Savile, Log tries to give up being gay, and Gavin tells a brilliant story about the time he met a magician.
Nov 19
10: Pivot On My Dungeon Throne, Buddy
This week’s episode contains all four members of the Regular Features team, which is either a treat or a disaster depending on how you look at it. Gav tries to work out how well we all know each other, Matt invents his own version of Game of Thrones, Log kicks off a game of Dungeons ... Read more
Nov 26
11: Election Rulebreaking For Ladies
Steve tests the team’s lady-identification skills, Matt decides it’s time to elect a Mayor for Regular Features, and Gavin breaks the only rule of the podcast by writing another Doctor Who script. He has since been beaten very badly, and promises that it won’t happen again. Special thanks to Steve Arnoldi for editing this week’s episode ... Read more
Dec 04
12: Life’s Too 2011
Hello! This is the twelfth episode. You’ve got to give us that. It’s a bare statement of the facts, you can hardly deny it. What is wrong with you today? Why are you being like this? Why can’t you just enjoy the fact that Steve’s dog is dead? Why can’t you just enjoy Log’s new ... Read more
Dec 12
13: Obama Dream Abuse
What happens when Steve receives marketing emails from the first black President of the USA? What happens when Matt has the memory of kicking a child? And what happens when Log has a couple of dreams that he remembers? Well, we’ll bloody well TELL you what happens. THIS SOUND FILE HAPPENS and you’re just going ... Read more
Dec 23
14: A Christmas 2011 Specialganza
Happy Christmas! Hello! You’ll pardon me if I don’t type anything of any entertainment value here, but I’m supposed to be in the pub. Everyone’s gone without me, so it’ll be their fault if I drink all the Baileys before I leave the house and end up doing little dairy bubble-sicks onto my chest. According ... Read more