84: You’ve Got Mail

The Regular Features team, in what courts will agree is their most co-operative act yet, send a fake newsletter to Roger Helmer’s legion of UKIP followers. We’ll say it straight up now so as not to disappoint: it doesn’t arrive in their inboxes in time to make this episode the thrilling spectacle we had anticipated it might be. Log attempts to mitigate the boredom by playing a scratchcard AS LIVE. Can he succeed in rescuing the episode from the drudgery of increasingly bleak Gmail refreshes? You’ll have to listen to find out!

25 thoughts on “84: You’ve Got Mail

  1. Dear Gavin, Matt, Steve and Jon…

    I have recently been notified of a ‘spoof’ email that has been circulating around my fellow colleagues and various sources (via twitter) have led me to believe you are the culprits. From both titles and descriptions of multiple ‘podcasts’ you have uploaded it is clear that you are the cause of this e-mail. I would recommend that you to apologize to multiple members of parliament or legal action will be taken, if you are unaware it is illegal to impersonate a member of parliament. I am angered and offended by this affair and I hope that the full extent of the damage cause by this email has been understood.

    Yours Sincerely, RogerHelmerMEP.

  2. Steven, Mathew, Gavin and Jonathan…

    I have recently been informed of an email, which is currently causing a ‘complication’ among fellow members of parliament. The e-mail contains many things, amongst (I also notice that the word ‘amongst’ is highlighted in red to symbolize that is is incorrectly spelt, even though it is a registered word in the oxford dictionary?) them include false accusations and things that could be found offensive. I for one are extremely disappointed that media is being used in such a way. It is in fact illegal to impersonate a member of Parliament and i expect all responsible for the email to be prosecuted. I respect you profession (podcast) but i feel that your audience could be used in a much more constructive manner, is this the only way of entertaining readers? Is breaking the law the only possible root left to keep the podcast alive. I believe that this media form has run its course and the way you manipulate your audience to turn your listeners against a person is beyond me. I have endured multiple podcasts that had my name in the title and I have noticed a trend, that in most of them my quotes and words are twisted and changed for the benefit of the listener. I also notice the hatred of me was spontaneous and had a lack of reasoning. I do expect a full apology apology and you should be ashamed of what you have created in this corner of the internet, most podscasts are very vile and vulgar. I have posted a similar reply but i didn’t get a reply and i don’t believe it was sent/posted properly to this website. I hope the collateral damage cause by the email is understood by all of you.

    Roger Helmer (MEP)

  3. Hi again, Rog,

    I’d love you to help me out on this, because I can’t find any reference to an offence of impersonating a Member of Parliament. There’s one for police, customs officials, jurors, people giving bodily samples, all sorts of stuff. But not one for impersonating a member of parliament.

    I’m sure important guys like you don’t go around threatening people with prosecution for crimes that don’t exist though, so if you could just steer me towards the Act where it’s set out, that would be super.

    Thanks in advance.

    • Phil,

      I have noticed numerous posts you have submitted and I would be delighted to enlighten you. (I apologize for my delay in responding.

      The answer to this question is rather convoluted – almost always but not usually on it’s own.With the exception of the specific offences of impersonating a law enforcement officer (and also a lawyer!), it is not unlawful to impersonate someone per say, however, it is very difficult to impersonate someone without then going on to commit another offence (either civil or criminal).
      Online access means that impersonation is a growing problem, particularly on social media. Most social media sites and other websites have anti-impersonation policies and it is therefore possible to have fake pages removed, however, often it is more serious.
      Many people overshare their own private information on websites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Whilst inadvisable it is not unlawful to breach your own privacy. Where an impersonator does so, however, a claim for misuse of private information is available. In Applause Store Productions v Raphael in 2008 (the so-called first Facebook case in the UK) information such as the Claimant’s sexual orientation, relationship status and POLITICAL and religious views (though not all accurate on the profile) were held to be private information which was misused – resulting in a £2,000 award of damages. I could use this example that it is illegal to impersonate someone working in politics. AS shown in the previous case they could be fined £2000, though the most damaging affect will be on their careers, because most of them are of a younger age changing and applying for jobs will be frequent but as all of us know applying for a job with a criminal record greatly reduces the chance of being employed.

      I am also aware of multiple grammatical errors in my previous post (I types apologize twice and put ’cause’ instead of ’caused’ I hope this did not reduce the effect of the overall message.

      Roger Helmer (MEP).

    • Phil,

      Just a quick message to point out i prefer not having a nickname such as ‘Rog’. I also resent the chirpy tone you have adopted and would like to have a more formal conversation.

      Roger Helmer (MEP)

  4. Hi Rogeroony

    The case you cite is a civil claim. That’s not the same as a criminal offence, and a person can’t be prosecuted for them. It’s quite a big deal for a public figure and Member of a Parliament to threaten someone with criminal prosecution for an offence which doesn’t exist. It might be considered using the public telecommunications system to convey a menacing message, which *is* actually a crime contrary to section 127 of the Communications Act 2003.

    You could bring a claim for civil damages, I suppose, though best of luck in trying to argue that the breach of privacy finding in Applause -v- Raphael, which related to the sexuality of a private individual, extends to the publicly pronounced political views of a professional politician.

    Hope this helps.

    • Phil,

      You may be surprised to find out I did not do my homework on the subject and I don’t know every ‘section’ in every ‘act’. My accusations and ‘threats’ were based on knowledge I already have. I may well be wrong on this matter, however you could be a member of the podcast trying to defend yourself from prosecution by posing as a listener. After all I don’t believe a listener of the podcast would get so touchy about this subject, I understand that losing a participant of the podcast for a short period of time could reduce the quality of content but i don’t think a reader would get so protective of something that will not greatly affect them. Even though you may have used plenty of fancy vocabulary and legal terms this does still not mean you are correct, I will research into this immediately and I would like to know your identity (in case you are member of the podcast posing as a listener). You can email me via RogerHelmerMEP@outlook.com.
      Id like to stress for the second time that nicknames are not to be used in this conversation as it does not much suit the mood and nature of the argument.

      Roger Helmer.

  5. Phillip (if that is you’re real name),

    I hope you understand I am the genuine Roger Helmer (MEP) and that replying as soon as possible is expected as this is a serious matter. The reason I am contacting you via this website is so this discussion is more direct and secluded from the general public, contacting any of you via twitter would only complicate the matter. I did post the email in the previous message and i will reply to prove this is far from a hoax for my or your own amusement. I have waited almost 2 hours for a response and I have yet to receive one.
    Please respond as soon as you have access to do so.

    Roger.

  6. I’m not a member of the podcast and I see no reason to provide you with my name.

    If you perceive my responses as touchy, then that’s a matter for you. Maybe public figures seeking to abuse their authority by making bogus legal threats to the creators of minor comedy websites makes me touchy. I thought I was being quite friendly though.

    I appreciate that you’re a busy guy and you don’t have time to check every section in every statute, but if you’re an MEP and you want to accuse someone of committing a criminal offence, it might be a good idea to conduct a bit of cursory research to see whether there is such a criminal offence first. Otherwise you might end up looking like a bit of a silly.

    I’m quite happy to keep talking here, incidentally, where everyone can see what we both say and there can’t be any misunderstandings. I don’t speak for the creators of the podcast. You posted your comments in a public forum. I replied. That’s how public forums work. You’re entirely at liberty to reply to me or not, though if you’re going to continue to do so, you might wish to check some of those statutes and sections first.

    Good luck in the elections next month, btw. I’m not sure I’ve ever conversed with an actual MEP before.

    • Phil (I am still unsure if you are ‘Phil’ or not),

      A few things I’d like to point out for your benefit, firstly I am aware this is a public forum post but from the lack of posts on this website it is safe to assume probably a maximum of ten people will read this. Secondly I am not ‘abusing my authority’, even though I am an MEP this doesn’t give me a great deal of power over strangers on the internet, you also say ‘I thought i was being quite friendly though’, and the problem is, yes, you were being far too friendly, and it came across to me as sarcastic and condescending, almost making a joke out of the whole matter, which is certainly not appropriate.
      It may also surprise you to know that I researched the subject for hours on end and I have come to the conclusion that the internet is not the best way to go about finding this type of information. I’m not threatened by your light-hearted (hearted again is underlined in red but is a registered word in the dictionary) manner but still find it irritating. I also don’t believe in luck because we have probability with is obviously mathematically correct. I’m also not surprised to hear that you haven’t talked to an actual MEP before because it is quite obvious. Still waiting for ID confirmation and instead of giving me a valid form of ID you could just email me. And if this forum is so popular and public as claimed to be ill just plug my own little blog, http://rogerhelmermep.wordpress.com/
      This blog is called straight talking and covers issues like global warming and politics!

      Roger Helmer (MEP)

  7. Hopefully the creators of the podcast have been following our to and fro in this forum, my main objective of our little tango on this small crevice of the internet is to attract the podcast members attention and contact them in a more formal manner. Hopefully after several posts I do have their attention and soon they will read this message and contact me via my email so (to quote Inspector calls) ‘we can come to the end of this wretched business’. I understand as 4 (presumably) working men not much time can be left aside for checking the forum of your website, so if anyone has any means of contacting them please direct them to this thread, thank you for your time Phil you have potentially helped me contact their attention and this conversation certainly increased the drama and severity of this ordeal. I’m calling the regular features cast out to reply to me on this website or email, oi clearly something is amiss and they are avoiding contact with me, which is understandable.

    Roger Helmer (MEP).

  8. Steven, Mathew, Gavin and Jonathan,

    Its been about 6 hours and 47 minutes since my previous post and unless all of the podcast team are on holiday, or work all day on a Saturday then they you are avoiding me. What do I need to do in order to get an answer or explanation from you, you have my attention and now it is a matter of waiting for a response. I would like to stress for a second time this is NOT fake, I am genuinely Roger Helmer, a member of the UK Independence party and a Member of European parliament. I am asking for the third time to email me via RogerHelmerMEP@outlook.com and I will respond as soon as I can.

    Roger Helmer (MEP)

      • Sandra,

        Firstly I’d prefer if you to stopped using false accounts to contact me, why on earth would a relatively small podcast have a ‘Head of Legal/Social Media, nice try but that is ridiculous. I may be past my prime but I’m not too unaware of what a podcast is and how it works. 4 of you talk into microphones and upload it to the internet, where does a head of legal/social media go into that equation? Id also like to stress for the second or third time that twitter Is definitely not the correct way to go about resolving this issue. Since previous messages I have done a small amount of research on all of you (using twitter) and I have found the email in question that has been sent to numerous UKIP member under MY name. If is isn’t illegal to impersonate an MEP in an email to all members of the political party he is a part of, I don’t know what is! I refuse to use twitter and this is becoming a serious problem in how stubborn you are at refusing to email me, this website is too public for my liking and emails would me much preferred.(RogerHelmerMEP@outlook.com)
        If you refuse to email me and still want proof of identification send mail to our PO box here
        East Midlands
        21 Manor Walk
        Coventry Road
        Market Harborough
        Leicestershire
        LE16 9BP
        Tel: 01858 432020

        I hope you comply.

        Roger Helmer (MEP).

        • Roger,

          Let me assure you that we’re just as eager to get this matter resolved as quickly and as privately as possible. Steve in particular is very eager, This morning he slammed both fists on his walnut-veneer desk and demanded “Sandra, I want this matter resolved as quickly and as privately as possible”.

          Please verify your identity as the bona fide (that means real) Roger Helmer by following @RegularFeatures on Twitter. You don’t need to post any public message to us, we will simply be notified by Twitter that you have started following us.

          That way we can ascertain that we are dealing with the Real McCoy and not some jokester charlatan. Given the situation I’m sure you can appreciate our caution! As Log once told me “Sandra, it is often difficult to know where reality ends and madness begins.”

          As soon as you have verified your identity we can begin to resolve this “sticky situation”.

          Sandra,
          Head of Legal/Research & Design,
          Regular Features
          x

          • Just listened to the latest podcast and expected to get a mention, apparently not even after all this effort and a lot of wasted hours used a thesaurus and a rhyming dictionary. Have you solved the binary code yet? click on my name and copy all the binary from either posts to reveal my identity. I guess i was wrong about Sandra, I honestly thought you were log but it turned out you were a fan, posing as log, posing as a fan, posing as a legal adviser for the podcast. Now if that ‘aint inception, I don’t know what is!

            They probably didn’t bother with it all because I was maybe half a week to late for it to seem realistic, if I responded earlier then it might have worked. I also now doubt they check the replies because if they did they will have seen all of this.

            Farewell.

  9. On the latest Roger Helmer video is its just me or does the voice over sound a lot like Steve, I know he only speaks for a total of about 5 seconds at beginning and end but I still think the similarity is strong enough to be pointed out.

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  12. WHY DIDN’T YOU MENTION THIS ON THE PODCAAAAST, NOOOOOO, I THOUGHT YOU TOOK PRIDE IN THIS PODCAST AND CHECKING AND RESONDING ON THE WEBSITE WOULD HAPPEN AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK BY ANY OF YOU, I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU BETTER. You have one week to prove me wrong, I’m waiting, and watching, always watching.

    Anonymous (not the hacking group thats all a bit too complicated, I mean anonymous, like anonymous anonymous not like hacker anonymous.

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