430: Generate My Space Teeth

Elegance. Charm. Big moustache. Poise. Intellect. Their very own pizza oven. Grace. Wit. These are the qualities we look for in an Italian chef, and we will settle for nothing less. What? Oh, we also did a podcast. Mamma mia.

Steve delivers what he promises to be his very last feature about teeth. Log codes an algorithm that can generate four petabytes of bee names per second. Gav stumbles across a curious accent in The Expanse. Joe circles around us like a sheepdog.

429: Lemon Cyberpunch

Hey now, what’s that sound, everybody look, it’s a new episode of the podcast. What happens in this one? I’m so glad you asked. Steve composes his very own Cyberpunk 2077 mission. Joe escapes into the fantastic world of the Lemon Pibwobs. And Log hires a mediator to address recent bullying concerns on the podcast.

Now if you don’t mind. I’ve got to go stand over there.

428: The One Where They Drink Disaronno

Strap in readers, as we carousel into the new year with a mildly irresponsible and Disaronno-fuelled special episode of Regular Features. Can we perform our features before Old Lazy Booze kisses us goodnight? Let’s find out.

FEATURES: Steve is interrupted by a very fussy guest. Gav tries to pawn a dirty goblin’s ring. And Log has been to the opticians to get his eyes scooped out.

Let’s go!

426: Punching Secret Christmas Bees

Nadolig Llawen, Nollaig Shona Daoibh and Happy Christmas to all of our beloved readers.

In this rare FOUR BOY EPISODE, Joe is visited by a very shy old acquaintance with a guitar. Steve learns the horrible truth about what’s up with all the bees. And Log successfully hosts an entire Punch and Judy show while also having an on-air mental breakdown.

We’ll be back next week for the last episode of 2020. Love ya!

424: Spitballing Pizza Emporium

Giddy up, ladies. Log is open for business, with an entire bazaar’s worth of Regular Features purchasables just for the readers. Joe investigates the origin of that big old pepperoni pizza in the music video for Eamon’s 2004 hit, Eff It (I Don’t Want You Back). Steve stares on, a hunger in his eyes and a sorrow in his heart.

423: Industrial Parcel Theft

Gav takes matters into his own hands to catch a local parcel thief. Steve invites you into the vice-addled underworld of investment banking. And Log reports live from a tide of puppies.

NOTES: Steve incorrectly states that Lena Dunham wrote Industry. While Dunham directed the first episode, the show is in fact created by Mickey Down and Konrad Kay. How embarrassing for Steve.