In this episode, Steve tells the terrifying tale of a coupla big city teenage dirtbags who finally get what’s coming to them.

Log learns the exact sequence of verbs and nouns that makes Thorin Oakenshield cradle you in his greasy dwarf arms in classic ZX Spectrum text adventure The Hobbit (1982), thereby cracking a four decade old puzzle that would have, had it been solved at the time, catapulted his eight year old body into a half-dozen simultaneous gay puberties.

Joe is here too, making all manner of contributions.