20: Supermodel Bears and Bummer Massage

What do stories need? A beginning and an end, with an optional middle section if you’re fond of the sound of your own fucking voice. In this very special twentieth gala celebration edition of Regular Features, we’ve got a whole barrel of bumholes all puckered up for a friendly finger, and every one of them is coughing out a poorly beige mist. Put your head in the bag, my friends, and take a full breath. That is how THIS story ends. (See, I hadn’t forgotten that first sentence, I’m a writer)