This is episode 488, which in bingo calling is “two fat ladies, married for forty years and still profoundly in love, standing at an easel where the first fat lady is painting a simple watercolour of their pet cat (name of Biscuits) as the second fat lady watches her from behind. The first fat lady turns to her wife and says, ‘my dear wife, these past few months I cannot help but feel we are growing apart, is something the matter?’
To which her adoring wife smiles and eventually replies, ‘no, my love, my sweetest love, it is just the default kerning makes it look that way, I am as in love with you now as I ever have been. I am one thousand times more in love with you today as I was when I first saw you. I cannot count the ways that I love you. It’s got to be at least fifty, and that’s just off the top of the bonce.’
And THEN the first fat lady laughs and says, ‘I knew you were, I can feel your love every day, my beautiful wife, you are my joy, my spark. Do you like this painting I have made?’
Her wife pauses. ‘Yeah of course, I mean, what is… yeah, wow, that’s… a castle? With the… are those archers there along the top, oh that’s just… crenellations. You’re so good at painting. I’ve always… always said that. Anyway, I’m just going to pop out to Sainsbury’s gorgeous, you want anything?”
In this episode, Gav interviews Win Butlers of the Arcade Fires. Steve feeds waterfowl inappropriate foods.