55: Sit On My Dick While I Drink This Coffee

Behold: the monofeature! We made a pact this episode to not have features, so we could all look breezy and nonchalant. Guess which prick whipped out a feature? CLUE: IT IS THE ONE WHO IS A PRICK.

This is the point at which I reach out, sensing that my words were too harsh, the capitals too emphatic – but still smarting, you flinch from my touch. And at that point, knowing I have hurt you, I have never loved you more.