Steve ranks a box of eggs. Joe got a big damn stink following him around. Gav has become infatuated with the rain. You can’t say fairer than that, can you? If you can, if you’re able to say fairer than that, please write to us and let us know how you did it, because we’re stumped.
Every time I upload these episodes it asks me to select a genre, and so I scroll down to the “comedy” tag and select it with all the unearned confidence of a Jimmy Carr type person, boldly declaring that what we do is so categorically hilarious that an entire Amazon Web Services database needs to know about it. I am disgusting. Hello.
In this episode, Gav is haunted by real sausages, real mash. Steve encounters a weirdo tutorial in Microsoft Flight Simulator. And Log is here too, an undercurrent of delight in a riptide of shite.
Welcome back to the Regular Features lab where we build clones of the boys for each consecutive week of podcasting. Please WATCH YOUR STEP we spilled some of the juice that makes Log and it will try and slide up your trousers. Anyway, this week our latest batch of semi-conscious homunculi farted out some podcast or other. The Joe one talked about sucking on a PlayStation controller, the Steve thing wrote some popular new fiction about wangs, and the mess we call Gav says a dead man did some singing and then proved it. We’ve since incinerated them all.
THANKS KEVIN MACLEOD:
Night In Venice by Kevin MacLeod
In Your Arms by Kevin MacLeod
Sidewalk Shade by Kevin MacLeod
Friday Morning by Kevin MacLeod
Sancho Panza gets a Latte by Kevin MacLeod
Live show! 8pm BST, June 13th on our YouTube channel.
We weren’t here for you last week, so have a luxurious king size episode on us. Lay down on it baby, roll around, grind your muddy shoes into the sheets and just soak it all up at your own pace. 58 minutes, hoo-whee, that’s long enough to make whoever edited it wonder if they left a big chunk of something in there that they shouldn’t have.
Gav’s mam’s got WhatsApp quibbles, Steve’s left glute’s got muscle troubles, and Joe’s ears have got podcast bubbles. It’s Regular Features, ahaaaa. Kept you waiting, huh?
Sneaky Snitch by Kevin MacLeod
Pot the reds then screw back for a brand new episode of the hippest podcast on the baize. It’s Regular Features, you filthy little pocket botherers, and this week we’ve gone simply loopers for the ol’ spoopers. The snockets, the cue stew, the hot pink smackers. It’s SNOOKER baby, and that’s all she wrote.
Log’s got a side-gig writing for right-wing journals. Joe is doing the snooker thing I just mentioned. And Steve’s been watching too much RuPaul to do anything else of note.
Matt’s back, you guys! And when he’s not explaining in the most accurate terms why going skiing like he did is Tory af, he’s squealing in raw delight at Steve’s slogans for “International Sleep Day”, the marketing invention that can be used by a variety of products, such as Casper Mattresses, Philips SAD lamps, and your dad.
“Go to bed, son. It’s international sleep day and I absolutely can’t bear to look at you for another damn minute. Your limitless energy just makes me feel rotten and old.”
Anyway! Cram this bunch a business up ya, and don’t come running to us when your earbuds fly out!
Joe wants to jump headlong with his long old head into the world of podcast-TV adaptation, with some Big Papa John. Steve has something extremely erudite and important to say about the Shamima Begum affair. Log demonstrates once again that he can’t stop thinking about sex but not, you know, properly.
By a lucky coincidence, all of us have had a reaction to some form of “media” this week. Log’s watched a TV show, Joe’s scrutinised a trailer, and Steve’s been in to see a film, and they’re ALL drinking whiskey out of a little glass submarine. That’s right, it’s time for another craaaaazy episode of Film 2019 with us, The Claudia Winklemens!
Log has bought everyone first class tickets to the strange and wonderful land of Fist World. Steve introduces us to the new political party of Westminster. And Joe introduces his ears to the incredible sounds of the London underground.